Hours spent praying, questioning, and hoping in a moralistic god that does not exist. The arrogance of a wanderer is that discovery will occur through observation. Few realize that obscurity often marks the mind of the man carrying his own burdens in wandering and experimenting.
Gazing in amazement at the brokenness in the world, Seth takes note that the cracks have been exposed through trials and tribulations. For years Seth sought solace in an irrational pursuit of self-righteousness. Pillars of foolish success were nailed to a wall in hopes of covering the cracks in the foundation. But reconstruction from a broken foundation is exhausting work to hide the increasing deterioration of the fragile structure still standing.
However, those cracks continue to erode over time, allowing the world to penetrate the frail fortress Seth tried to create. The fortress becoming a reminder that Seth is at war and hopelessly defenseless from what pries through the cracks in his faith. After years of erecting idols of immorality in place of much-needed grace, Seth broke at the seams, and there to catch him was the only One that brings life.
The sun rises over the mountain to meet Seth's broken gaze, blurred as his pupils dilate due to the darkness he caverned himself in for so long. But with truth comes hope, and that hope is everlasting. Pursuing a life built on morality was a tiresome hunt, constantly chasing and building toward salvation beyond reach. Cracks in the foundation let Seth's faith sink at the same rate in which he built, leaving him with little momentum to earn his place as a citizen above. Slowly sin weaved into Seth's fabric, making the pursuit of salvation as a result of works impossible to obtain. Through this, Seth realized his only hope was to admit he was pursuing God in vain.
As God works together the good for those that love him, it does not ignore that His people are subject to pain. Whether through pursuit or the result of the evil that dominates the world, suffering will rear its head in the life of a believer. For Seth, his endless pursuit of earning God's love proved meaningless as it was not his to earn. Graciously, God poured Christ's blood at the altar out of love that Seth might find salvation, offering Seth a love that was not contingent on redeemable actions. An unparalleled love and forgiveness purchased at a price no earthly wage could match, leaving Seth perplexed as to why he spent so much time thinking he had to be enough. At no point was Seth ever enough, and the pennies that filled his bank account could never pay off the trillions in debt he accumulated. Brothers surrounded him at his crossroads, sharing the truth of God's salvation that he was blind to for so many years. Thinking he was pursuing Christ, he was pursuing an idol. A god that would only meet Seth out of his ability to match God with the debt he accumulated, making Seth an equal and not a beneficiary. Out of love, God provided revelation and forgiveness of an unpayable debt to a man that had spent years trying to pay off the debt through his own power. A power that only created areas of weakness, when God is the only one with strength.
Darkness fades with the coming of the light, and the shadows that chase man will be enveloped in the pure illumination of truth, a truth Seth finally allows to flood his soul. For years light pierced the cracks of a hardened hope, shedding light on the path acting as a compass to the victory forevermore. A hill pierced with rotted wood that temporarily housed three nails and flesh, anguish resonating throughout eternity. Alone among many rest humanities only hope, forgiving all through a single cry. The light permeates from that moment, promises fulfilled on a bloody cross sealed eternal in an empty tomb. Victory could not be denied though every tactic of war was laid against the source of victory.
Seth closes his eyes and reflects on the burden he has carried his whole life. A false sense of security built on the grounds of achievement instead of believing in Christ. No greater gift could there be than a Savior that gave His own life. Now Seth no longer chases as his sin God erases while Seth walks freely in Christ.