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Objects: Bottles

Updated: Apr 17, 2020

Chills and thoughts racing as darkness swallows Seth to a point where the void in his heart is left hallow. Unfortunate, but reality, and another walk down the stairs with a name he will not remember.

Some call it a habit, others an addiction, but only he knows it is desperation. Loneliness breeds insecurity. Bodies fail to provide comfort.

Beauty is rarely found in the superficial. Pictures never tell the whole story. And she looked nothing like her profile. But they both knew why she was there.

Two lonely people. Empty. Desperate. Yearning for something to fill the groaning desire to be loved, but settling for some semblance of what they believe demonstrates value. Naked bodies. Vulnerability, at least to some extent, but clothed in shame and sorrow are two broken people that want to be loved.

Sex before marriage was never the plan, but it is now the necessity. At least something to remind Seth he is not completely worthless. Walking down to show another match up to his apartment conjures up fear and self-loathing as he knows this path breeds further discontentment. Mindlessly walking, sacrificially kneeling to his harrowing desires, he opens the door. In a trance, the meeting has become routine. Same conversation, same moves, same outcome. An hour later, a return to an empty couch, an empty apartment, and an even deeper void in the soul. Trying to flood the void has only cultivated further erosion as the soul feels shattered in pieces. But to deal with the mess, despite prudent for Seth to do, does not provide the minuscule satisfaction as the momentary half-effort fornication is able to for the time being. Nevertheless, Seth cannot change his direction as he wandered into the darkness without a light.

In those moments alone, without a temporary distraction, grief and remorse fill his heart. Unforgivable are the actions of a man that knew better but cared less, yet hopeless is not a proper description. To wander in darkness gives hope that one can run in opposition to the path once traveled should only a flicker of light appear. The story is not over, for Seth is not hopeless, and the pattern of broken stops here.

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